My Cup of Hot Lemon

Friday’s are unusually very long. Especially for me when I have a date with a story after work. My day job involves something far, very far, from story telling, but I get to hear more than enough stories before close of business. Like how this woman took a loan from the Bank for her ex-husband. Shit hit the fun when it was time to repay and she ended up losing the man whom she thought was the love of her life and off course left in debt. Or this couple who had a loan credited to their joint account but then one mischievous party, who’s not a card holder to the account, takes off with the entire amount leaving the other party in the lurch. Or these folks who took loans for business improvements in 2019, then Covid came and buggered up an investment that had an aroma of millions, a fragrance so pleasing that it made them lick their lips. They instead lost everything and left sinking deep in debt. Every defaulter has a story to tell and a debt to pay.

So last Friday, I met up with this chap at Hot Dishes around 1755hrs. He had on a brownish polo shirt that made his broad shoulders vastly noticeable. I didn’t make to see below the table but from the amount mass above, I suppose he’s of a medium height and sure blends well with his milk chocolate complexion. He had this clean hair-cut, smooth-face and short narrow phalanges. If you’ve got an imagination as wild as mine, among the first things your eyes go for when checking out a man, is the fingers. I am yet to find out how true this analogy between a man’s fingers and his membrum virile is. But anyway, that’s not the point.

I ordered for my usual; a cup of hot lemon.

“Are you sure you don’t want order something to eat?” He asked.

“Well, I want to. I’d rather not though. I’m taking care of this fatty tissues.” I said showing him my bulging breadbasket.

“haha! Okay ma’am.”

So, what brings us here? Jared, yeah?

“Yeah! You got that right.” He said giving me a rather sheepish smile.

I let my cheeks pull my lips in response.

He ordered Vegetable rice with steak then asked again, “are you sure you don’t want to eat?”

Ok, it’s already uncomfortable to have one party at the table taking a meal whilst the other sits to watch them eat. It’s even more uncomfortable when they try to make you doubt your choices. It’s like getting into a bar on a Saturday night only to order a soda. Ah! No! That’s worse.

Being who I am, I said with the confidence of a bird committing itself to the air, “Yeah, I had late lunch today. I’m still full from that. You just go ahead.

Wanjiku, uumh, you’re going to have to forgive me. Honestly, I’m sorry.

The last time someone said they were sorry, to me, on my face, prior to this one, they weren’t really sorry that they disappointed me. They were only sorry because they felt they had lost the privileges they had off me. Well, it human nature. Most times when we’re apologizing, it’s never about the other party, but about us. It’s about us redeeming ourselves in order to get away with our faults without guilt. And we often do.

Why you say that, have you lost my story?

Haha! Yes and No. Please don’t be mad. I don’t have a story per say, but this too could be a story you know. I wanted to meet the girl behind this keyboard. He pulled that smile again.

This time I didn’t smile back. I sipped off my cup.

Are you for real though? Like, that was no lame joke, was it?

No. I’m sorry. Honestly I’m sorry. I knew if I asked you out you wouldn’t have come.

How do you know?

So you would have come?

You know, I actually regret not having ordered something to eat because that means I only get to go home on a curfew-free Friday night with my bloodstream full of lemon water with honey and ginger instead of rum with soda water, lime and mint. And off course, without a story. What a waste of Friday night! You know, I have not had the honor of walking out on a man, especially from a restaurant. And I’m irked that my piece of good fortune has come just after my cup of Dawa has been set. This one is not something I am used to leaving on the table. Also, this thing is hot even when it’s cold. There’s just no way to take it all in one gulp. So, I surely hope you’ve got something to talk about with this girl whom you wanted to meet without having to ask her to tell you more about herself.

Ha! Okay. So which series did you last watch?

Well, I do a lot of Tyler Perry, so of course, Ruthless and Sistas.

That’s how we ended up agreeing about how best Tyler Perry would be as a woman. I admit the very first time I heard of Tyler, I honestly thought he was a she.


I walked down to the nearest Supermarket after what felt like a lifetime for any Manchester United fanatic and headed straight for their liquor store. Oh, hail! this month all us Tusker fans, the pleasure is real. We’re enjoying the beer in style thanks to TuskerOktobaFest. Ah! the prices! I almost took home a whole 6pack of Cider to pass away the night.

That is how and why we ended up without a story today. But this one also is a story right?

Every business has it’s challenges. It’s like when this lad walks to your shoe store and tries nearly all of them then ends up telling you they will come back. Hurts right? Right. Off course I went home disappointed and feeling wasted. So you! do not think to try this move in future, anyone! Next time I might not be in such a friendly mood. Because of course, next time will be November and Tusker prices will have restored. So don’t!

Till Next Week Com’s.


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