Honesty is Broke – Lies are the New Truths


English taught us that ‘Honesty is the best policy’. I want to believe she meant that you should always tell the truth, even when it seems as if it would be useful to tell a lie. Hmm! Then CRE came and said that honesty is a virtue. That’s not all, she further went ahead to stress on how the truth sets one free. I never objected. Not even once. On the flip side, while I have always believed these facts, life has been tireless at teaching me the complete contrary. What is life! (Sigh)

Leviticus 19.11
“You shall not….tell lies.”
My understanding is that lies exist. Yes they do, but the Christian Bible warns against using them. Lemmi not delve much into that because the last thing I would do, is get controversial with the Word of God. I choose to leave it at that.

Let’s take things as they are. I mean, let’s be more realistic. Would you rather spend your entire life in pathetic state of joblessness? Try being honest. Want to serve a lifelong imprisonment? Tell the truth. Want to lose a prestigious position in the government or in a company? Tell the truth of the matter. Working in a Marketing/Sales Agency and want to lose a client? The secret is to tell him the truth. Write down you’re Curriculum Vitae and tell them the truth, my friend! Take it from me, you shall land a job only on the tarmac. Inject honesty in to your traits and I guarantee you a prosperous life. Haha! Of course am joking.

There’s literary no single place on this earth where prosperty is built on honesty. Not even in churches where this Bible is preached day in day out. Here, pastors will call out for honest offertories (not bad) which supports their large living while honest givers languish in real poverty. I am judging no one, in fact am in no position to do so. I should say am the worst person to do so. I am simply saying, honesty is broke.

Let an officer catch you on the roads drunk-driving, without your license, or driving an overloaded matatu. That right there is entry fee to some shabby cell. Which by the way should be the case. (But even in those cases, honesty will never get you out, in fact it creates a mountain out of a mole-hill) Simply hand that commiserable man a two-hunderd note, free pass to freedom. smh! I am not judging our officers, am saying, honesty is broke.

Dear Marketer, tell your potential customers that; Black Label causes quite awful hangover, or Nivea causes no different changes to the skin from Lady Gay despite it’s overwhelming prices, Sunlight is no different from Omo, or that Bidco cooks no different from Elianto, end of business. Try something like; “Nivea makes the skin lighter (because am avoiding the word bleaches) or it evens the skin tone, lol. ‘Nice and Lovely’ make the hair longer and tougher, Elianto turns white ‘chapatis’ brown. Yani, something of the kind. Then every day will surely be end month. I am not judging marketers, I’ve been one before, am saying, honesty is broke.

Tell the electorate you will load your Bank Account with tax payers money, buy your wife a TX, take your kids to Hill Crest then to South Africa for Tertiary Education, take a flight to London to see a doctor over a stomach upset may be or some mild chest pains, erect a dynasty for yourself, grab land for future security, invest in China, take your family to the Bahamas – you know your list of ambitions – that is the honest truth, we all know. But I promise you, try it and mark the end of your political career. I suggest you try something like, you’ll start a ‘zoo’ to  house the jobless and provide free food, erect a Spire touching the sky, Introduce less hectic Biology and simpler Physics or may be ban Chemistry and Kiswahili from Education System, install free Wi-Fi in all homes and promise to start a initiative giving allowances to families every end of the month. Mr Politician, kura ni kwako. (All votes are yours) I am not judging politicians, No! Am saying, honesty is broke.

Last but not least, be that doctor who prescribes Piriton for insomnia and your clinic cum pharmacy will forever read zero. Try something like advising your patient that her lack of sleep is due to Chronic Agitation -whatever that is – or tell them they’re suffering from Chronic Flu, wait! What the devil on earth is Chronic Flu? smh! Complicate their ailments or give them scientific names. Like, tell them they’re suffering from binomial nomenclature. What’s that I just said? (Rubbing nose) I mean, this is how you keep them coming back for drugs and injections. That way, the clinic’s Account continues shooting upwards. I am not judging these doctors, am saying, honesty is broke.

I am saying, to be honest is to be broke.
Try it.

JennyShiqu’s two cents.

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