For the last two weeks, I have been reading the book, Father, Dear Father. It is the story of the life of Woodrow Wyatt (was a British Politician) authored by his daughter Petronella Wyatt. My highlights on Woodrow’s life are his failures and constant persistence. In fact, even in his failures, he regarded all those who contradicted him as fools. Whoever contradicts me then… Ha! I didn’t call anyone foolish though. Anyway, that’s just a by the way.
My friend, have you ever given up on something? I’m certain without a trace of doubt the answer is yes. Most of us if not all, have at one point lost hope in one thing or another. Perhaps it was a dream you had but life threw you some googly, and you lost your will-power. You decided the dream was beyond impossible, unrealistic, lacking in originarity or you just weren’t worthy of such a dream happening to you. The glint in your eye slowly went out and you took it as the gospel truth that the dream was lost. Questions is, does the dream still live in your heart? If you think about it, does it still burn like that last cinder of a fire? With a little bit of life blown into it’s ribs, would a new fire be bred? Let me believe that is another yes. If it is, then you’re not alone. But again, don’t take comfort in that, you just might be alone. I remember back in High School, our Chemistry teacher had a tendency of surprising us with a CAT when we least expected. Then there’s this girl, Lisa (not her real name) who, in your nervousness, would console you with this, ” usijali, hata mimi sijasoma, hauko solo.” you will in turn be all there jubilating believing you’re not alone. This jubilation was unfortunately short-lived but we failed to realise it until the results were out. Lisa would be handed her 70% while your marks were below the sea level. Lo! That was when you believed them when they said the devil is a liar. He indeed is. Am I going off the tangent? Yes? Yes. Sorry lemmi come back.
My fellows, I have been a victim, I have had one dream after another slip right through my fingers and I had null control over. But don’t ease your distress with that, like I said earlier, you just might be alone. The ‘tuko wengi’ notion is a damned solace that you should learn to kill every time you hear it. As I was saying, I have given up times without number, I have let go of black and white dreams, coloured dreams, teeny dreams, stupendous dreams, dreams, dreams, dreams. I have had dreams that scared the hell out of me, made me feel too husky a dreamer, that I eventually gave up. I accepted that they were beyond me and I thought myself overly imaginative. Big mistake!
Here I am today blowing new life into my dreams, I’m deeply convinced the ember is combustible. A new but more fierce furnace will be engendered.
I HAVE A DREAM…
My dream is this; come that day, on my death bed, I will count one soul I will have positively impacted, just one. Not two, not ten, not even a million but just ONE. Impacted not with material things but with my poise.
My dream is this; come that day, while counting the last seconds of life, I will look back to a life well lived. I will then gently tap my back, with much exuberance and say to myself, “Kudos Jenny, you did it. Against all the frustrations, setbacks, negative energies, contradictions, you lived your purpose. Jenny you have made me too big for one’s breeches. Jenny you are a Legend defined. Salute you honey! Thumbs up.”
My dream is this; come that day, facing the end of my life, I will make count of every single word I scribbled and every book I authored. I will tear in joy knowing, through my books, I turned one child out there somewhere, into a reader. Just like Ngugi wa Thiong’o made me one. I will then leave my daughter/son, who will also be a writer like the mother, with the responsibility of setting up a library in my name, THE JENNYSHIQU LIBRARY, in honour of my love for books. Then every Kenyan child, after me, shall turn into a reader. You will ask why this library comes after my departure, well, am a selfish one, I of course want to remain forever in your minds my people. Hope that answers your question. In the mean time, let’s exhaust the existing libraries.
My dream is this; on that day, awaiting my last breathe, I will recall that Powerful Environmental Speech I will have delivered on a podium, abounding in vitality, (like PLO Lumumba) infront of a multitude of delegates and civilians, after which they shall all bow in awe over a feet-sweeping experience. From then on, no soul, sober or not, shall hence forth manage to gather the courage to litter as they currently do. Every living man and woman will take it upon themselves to plant a tree yearly if not monthly. I will then confidently take my last breathe knowing I left the earth cleaner, healthier and better for my offsprings.
My dream is this; come that day, I will lay in peace, knowing well I lived a full life; I shared Love, Forgiveness, Thoughts, Opinions and Ideas. Knowing I tried, failed and yet tried again. Knowing I felt like giving up like any normal human, but I persisted.
I will then close my eyes and take my last breathe.
In God’s hands I submit my Dreams… Amen!