I’m not from a family where there is some big party thrown over birthdays. Sometimes I would even find myself forgeting my day. But thanks to facebook the days of forgeting are long gone. I must commend the founder for a job well done.
I plan to throw a very big party when I hit 40. One that will be unforgetable – I see it in my dreams.
But there are some things I do not want in my 40. Like, saying am a writter – with no book to show for it, saying am a musician – with no album to back it up, spending a Friday night in some club in town or lay with a random man in the name of ‘Furahi Day’.
I do not want to spend Saturday and Sunday afternoons alone.
I do not want to wake up one Morning and say, “I have been running this business for the last 10 years with no progress.”
As I maintain silence and think of the things I want and don’t want when am 40, I reflect on the lessons I’ve learnt from the people I’ve had an honour to meet in my life.
My grandfather, He has taught me to work hard. He is that man who would spend his leave tirelessly in the farm and would always drag the family along. “I thought leave was meant for rest.”
He always told me it’s not always about a white color-job. It’s about being at peace, it’s about love and putting food at the table out of one own’s sweat. One’s hard earned cash.
My grandmother, the most important woman in my life, she taught me to be a wife and a mother long even before my time. She has taught me that a woman must add to the table. However little it’s better than nothing. A woman must love and respect her husband and make him feel needed. She has taught me that a wife has to open that door for her man at whatever time. Even at the wee hours of the night, drunk or not. She has to wipe his vomit and tuck him to bed. And besides all that she taught me that no man has a right to disrespect me and still remain there.
My mum, She taught me that everything in life doesn’t come on a silver platter. Today you’re given tomorrow you just have to grow up, face the cruel world and conquer. She taught me that there comes a time in a woman’s life where you wear pants and father your kids and at times you have to take off the pants and embrace the need of a man. She has also taught me to fear God- She’ll often play some worship music to lull us to sleep.
Njoki Gachwe, my number one best friend, she introduced me into the culture of reading books and literature in general. And with this reading, I realised I could write. She has taught me that sometimes you need to be silly, laugh uncontrolablly and at times cry. She taught me that emotions are what make you human.
Ann Mumira, a cousin, has taught me on the beauty of a smile. She’s an ever jovial lady and at times believing that she has personal issues has proven to a hard nut to crack.
She has taught me to be strong and to never hold grudges. Through her, I’ve learnt to be firm and unshakable. Taught me that a woman is a woman’s worst enemy but real wise women empower each other, push each other to prosperity. . She’s taught me to be a go-getter.
John Githunguri, My favourite buddy. He’s taught me to love myself above all others. Taught me what friendship is about, shown me how and why to rise after a fall. He brought to light that crazy side of me and makes me laugh till I cry. From him I’ve learnt that at times you have to sacrifice what you are for what you want to be.
He’s taught me to respect people’s feelings and to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud. Last but not least, he introduced me to blogs.
He shines light into my life whenever he says, “Jeniffer I believe in you.” He makes me want to be a good woman.
My ex boyfriends, they have taught me that sometimes I just need to be alone; solitude is solace at times. There’s glory in solitude – Timealone makes you grow, makes you realise what you really need and who you really are. They’ve taught me that sometimes, what you wish for, isn’t really what you need.
With those experiences, I learnt that there’s always a difference between the lover and the loved, no one will ever love you as much as you love them, with the same intensity. The two loves are never and never will be equals. Simply love without expectation. Sometimes God makes you pass through the wrong people so that you learn to appreciate the right one when he/she comes.
A guy I once had a crush on, to avoid ego shoot-ups, i beg to keep his name a secret. I learnt and embraced the fact that, there are people we view as right and compatible. You literarly feel that you complement each other. But you have to allow the bitter pill pass down your gut and accept that you don’t have to be together. You’re just not meant.
My girlfriends, they’ve taught me that laughing is healthy. During lunch at round tables with bags of chips, they would say, “you don’t really need that boyfriend.” At times it made sense and sometimes I’d brush it off. Other times they will say, “Never leave that guy, if you do I will hunt him down.”
Others, during outtings, girl’s day out, have taught me that it’s not wrong to love and want to be loved. But life isn’t always about love. There are other essential things besides love.
Mr. Wachira, my primary school Mathematics teacher. He taught me to make myself happy regardless, to believe in my abilities whether or not they seem promising. He instilled in me the spirit of leadership, he often told me I do not need to have a million followers to be a leader. Instead he said, “You are a leader of your own thoughts.” His words will live on.
Everyone I call a friend has taught me one thing or another.
All of you that I have mentioned, the list is not in order of importance. You all are equally but differently important.
I officially invite you to my 40th birthday party. Plan to attend.